My scalp itches. What's more, it rains festive little snowflakes of dead skin every time I scratch it. It took a few days for the consequences of my weekend scalp sunburn to show, but show they have.
Hat next time. Damn, this is irritating.
Friday, June 28, 2002
Thursday, June 27, 2002
I'm SO disappointed. I expected a torrent of invective over my last entry, but none has been forthcoming. There's the usual litany of his accusations toward me -- that I'm revising history, that my memory is faulty, that I'm twisting facts to suit my needs, that I'm rationalizing or being irrational, that I'm lying. Then there's the fact that I wasn't actually present in the IRC channel for the pot argument.
I was even prepared for at least one or two people to write in defending him. Even one or two people agreeing would've been OK -- I know there are such people out there, since I've talked to you privately, but perhaps you don't want to go on public record.
*silence* *crickets*
But then again, there is a friends-only post from Joey this morning, so maybe I haven't gone totally unnoticed.
Please note, one and all, that this round of Joseph-bashing is really a catharsis for me, after spending a very long time artificially inflating my opinion of him, defending him against detractors when I really agreed with them and magnifying his strengths. I will balance it out when the urge takes me with a discussion of the things I liked, and still like, about him.
Coming sometime soon: An examination of Joseph's self-professed and widely believed assertion that the always acts and reacts with careful deliberation in a balanced or appropriate way, with simultaneous commentary on his invoking the 'the best way the know a person is to fight him' line from Babylon 5.
I was even prepared for at least one or two people to write in defending him. Even one or two people agreeing would've been OK -- I know there are such people out there, since I've talked to you privately, but perhaps you don't want to go on public record.
*silence* *crickets*
But then again, there is a friends-only post from Joey this morning, so maybe I haven't gone totally unnoticed.
Please note, one and all, that this round of Joseph-bashing is really a catharsis for me, after spending a very long time artificially inflating my opinion of him, defending him against detractors when I really agreed with them and magnifying his strengths. I will balance it out when the urge takes me with a discussion of the things I liked, and still like, about him.
Coming sometime soon: An examination of Joseph's self-professed and widely believed assertion that the always acts and reacts with careful deliberation in a balanced or appropriate way, with simultaneous commentary on his invoking the 'the best way the know a person is to fight him' line from Babylon 5.
Tuesday, June 25, 2002
I've had a long holiday from entries about Joseph. Much to my surprise, this was never a conscious decision and I haven't really tried (passing mentions in reference to my past don't count). I have, however been pleased to note that, for someone who goes to such effort to excise me from his life, he talks about me an awful lot. And with today's entry, I've moved up to the level of 'menace.' I'm so proud!
So let's see where we are, shall we? "It reminded me of the one I pushed away because he was all too smug in his ivory tower and shining the badge of intelligence and education as if it were all the proof he needed that he was right." I'm truly mystified about how it can be that being intelligent and informed on some given topic doesn't mean you might have something valuable to say. Frequently in our arguments, it would seem that no matter how much knowledge and personal experience I had on a subject, if my view differed from his, I was the irrational one; I was wrong. Oddly enough, I never actually told him he was wrong unless it was about a matter of fact of which I was absolutely certain.
"These things do not give you any bragging rights or make you better than the next man." For the record, I have never claimed to be "better" than any other person. I may know more about a topic or consider myself well, or better, informed. But I feel it's more his own insecurities than my own supposed hubris that creates this view that I live in an ivory tower and only occasionally deign to come down to mingle with the common people. Anyone else who knows me well would certainly refute his view. If I sometimes seem stuck-up to people, they soon come to realize it's because I'm fundamentally a very shy person and don't feel comfortable sticking my nose into unfamiliar situations or making small talk with unfamiliar people.
His bias against education, I think, stems from his own unpleasant and abortive experiences with higher education. But I think DeVry may not be the best institution upon which to base any broad-based opinions about the state of higher education in America. But let me state categorically that a number of the most intelligent and well-informed people I've ever known never made it through or to college (some didn't even finish high school) and some of the greatest idiots I've ever known graduated with prestigious degrees from famed institutions.
I find that his first instinct is to distrust the opinions of anyone with a college education and to believe that they're wrong, regardless of what their position is, what the subject is and whether that subject has anything to do with their field of study. It's really quite ridiculous.
"What I mind is being told by someone I thought was a friend that I sounded undereducated because I had the audacity to state my opinion however unpopular it was to the potheads on the channel." My understanding of the events that took place was that Joseph stated an opinion that he refused to back up with facts, reason or justification in the face of differing viewpoints that seemed at least cursorily to have some supporting arguments. Since he engaged them in debate and yet refused to support his position, they called him on his 'uninformed' (or some such terminology) position. Uninformed does to mean undereducated.
I'm sure that some of the people arguing with him were insulting and offensive, and I think that stinks. But there you have it.
I'm reminded very often how bad Joseph and I were for each other for a great fraction of the time we were together. Mostly, it's Mason's actions that do the reminding.
Some of my friends may remember the cell phone I had for a few months before my departure from the Bay Area. Joseph got it for me so we could keep in touch, since we both had busy schedules and were often long distances apart but trying to coordinate plans and such. It never seemed to fail that I would take a shower and he would call; I would run to the store briefly and leave the phone, and he would call; the phone would get bound up in the bed sheets and I wouldn't hear it ring. But I'd always call him back when I found that he'd called. Eventually, he took the phone away, saying that if I wasn't going to answer, there was no need for me to have it. He took the phone's various pieces, like the battery, and hid them in several places so I couldn't use it.
Recently, there was a spate of about a week straight where I never answered Mason's calls, either because I left my phone in the car, forgot it, etc. This, of course, followed and was followed by other times when I didn't answer. My abject apologies and near-abasement were met with gentle, and sincere, forgiveness. "As long as you answer some of the time, I don't care."
I also realized the other day that, although Joseph and I were together for two and a half years, in reality we were together for six months, and I spent the subsequent two years trying desperately to keep things from falling apart. Mason and I have surpassed that amount of time and things seem only to be growing stronger.
On a less judgmental note, it's funny that Joseph seemed to think from my comments about various music that I loved everything -- he noted how often I said something was a "favorite", indicating it was becoming meaningless (never mind that it was almost always used in a context similar to "Ooh, this is one of my favorite technopop songs by an '80s straight-gay duo with blond hair!"). Mason seems to think, on the other hand, that I hate everything. Strange how perspective changes everything.
On a more judgmental note (and before I say this, let me be clear that despite everything nasty I've ever said and may be about to say, Joseph is VERY dear to me; I want the best happiness for him in life and I hope to be a part of that life in some small way someday), I'd just like to make this outburst, get it off my chest and let it rest finally:
My gawd he's a sanctimonious and self-important prick most of the time.
Thank you. I feel all better now.
So let's see where we are, shall we? "It reminded me of the one I pushed away because he was all too smug in his ivory tower and shining the badge of intelligence and education as if it were all the proof he needed that he was right." I'm truly mystified about how it can be that being intelligent and informed on some given topic doesn't mean you might have something valuable to say. Frequently in our arguments, it would seem that no matter how much knowledge and personal experience I had on a subject, if my view differed from his, I was the irrational one; I was wrong. Oddly enough, I never actually told him he was wrong unless it was about a matter of fact of which I was absolutely certain.
"These things do not give you any bragging rights or make you better than the next man." For the record, I have never claimed to be "better" than any other person. I may know more about a topic or consider myself well, or better, informed. But I feel it's more his own insecurities than my own supposed hubris that creates this view that I live in an ivory tower and only occasionally deign to come down to mingle with the common people. Anyone else who knows me well would certainly refute his view. If I sometimes seem stuck-up to people, they soon come to realize it's because I'm fundamentally a very shy person and don't feel comfortable sticking my nose into unfamiliar situations or making small talk with unfamiliar people.
His bias against education, I think, stems from his own unpleasant and abortive experiences with higher education. But I think DeVry may not be the best institution upon which to base any broad-based opinions about the state of higher education in America. But let me state categorically that a number of the most intelligent and well-informed people I've ever known never made it through or to college (some didn't even finish high school) and some of the greatest idiots I've ever known graduated with prestigious degrees from famed institutions.
I find that his first instinct is to distrust the opinions of anyone with a college education and to believe that they're wrong, regardless of what their position is, what the subject is and whether that subject has anything to do with their field of study. It's really quite ridiculous.
"What I mind is being told by someone I thought was a friend that I sounded undereducated because I had the audacity to state my opinion however unpopular it was to the potheads on the channel." My understanding of the events that took place was that Joseph stated an opinion that he refused to back up with facts, reason or justification in the face of differing viewpoints that seemed at least cursorily to have some supporting arguments. Since he engaged them in debate and yet refused to support his position, they called him on his 'uninformed' (or some such terminology) position. Uninformed does to mean undereducated.
I'm sure that some of the people arguing with him were insulting and offensive, and I think that stinks. But there you have it.
I'm reminded very often how bad Joseph and I were for each other for a great fraction of the time we were together. Mostly, it's Mason's actions that do the reminding.
Some of my friends may remember the cell phone I had for a few months before my departure from the Bay Area. Joseph got it for me so we could keep in touch, since we both had busy schedules and were often long distances apart but trying to coordinate plans and such. It never seemed to fail that I would take a shower and he would call; I would run to the store briefly and leave the phone, and he would call; the phone would get bound up in the bed sheets and I wouldn't hear it ring. But I'd always call him back when I found that he'd called. Eventually, he took the phone away, saying that if I wasn't going to answer, there was no need for me to have it. He took the phone's various pieces, like the battery, and hid them in several places so I couldn't use it.
Recently, there was a spate of about a week straight where I never answered Mason's calls, either because I left my phone in the car, forgot it, etc. This, of course, followed and was followed by other times when I didn't answer. My abject apologies and near-abasement were met with gentle, and sincere, forgiveness. "As long as you answer some of the time, I don't care."
I also realized the other day that, although Joseph and I were together for two and a half years, in reality we were together for six months, and I spent the subsequent two years trying desperately to keep things from falling apart. Mason and I have surpassed that amount of time and things seem only to be growing stronger.
On a less judgmental note, it's funny that Joseph seemed to think from my comments about various music that I loved everything -- he noted how often I said something was a "favorite", indicating it was becoming meaningless (never mind that it was almost always used in a context similar to "Ooh, this is one of my favorite technopop songs by an '80s straight-gay duo with blond hair!"). Mason seems to think, on the other hand, that I hate everything. Strange how perspective changes everything.
On a more judgmental note (and before I say this, let me be clear that despite everything nasty I've ever said and may be about to say, Joseph is VERY dear to me; I want the best happiness for him in life and I hope to be a part of that life in some small way someday), I'd just like to make this outburst, get it off my chest and let it rest finally:
My gawd he's a sanctimonious and self-important prick most of the time.
Thank you. I feel all better now.
How did I spend my summer vacation, all three days of it? Working.
Spent the weekend with my mom, who nominally was going along to help me run my booth selling Celtic CDs at the San Diego Highland Games. In reality, though, it was basically me working for her. She's a bit of a control freak, and the business used to be hers, so she took control the way some people take breaths.
It did lead to some occasional friction, and I'll admit I can be very testy and oversensitive at times. But she put up with me, I put up with her, and we did manage to have some fun.
We did a fairly brisk business, paying for the trip and then some. I've come to view most of these trips as public relations outings rather than profit-making ventures. We met a great many people, some of whom came to the festival specifically to buy from us.
An entertaining drive back was had, keeping my mom awake by asking her questions about Arizona history and place names (she works for the state archives and could be considered something of a subject matter expert), and her answering either truthfully or untruthfully as was her wont and me attempting to divine which stories were true and which false. She's very, very good at intermingling the two.
It was nice to get out of the Phoenix heat, but I got a nasty sunburn on my scalp for my troubles.
Spent the weekend with my mom, who nominally was going along to help me run my booth selling Celtic CDs at the San Diego Highland Games. In reality, though, it was basically me working for her. She's a bit of a control freak, and the business used to be hers, so she took control the way some people take breaths.
It did lead to some occasional friction, and I'll admit I can be very testy and oversensitive at times. But she put up with me, I put up with her, and we did manage to have some fun.
We did a fairly brisk business, paying for the trip and then some. I've come to view most of these trips as public relations outings rather than profit-making ventures. We met a great many people, some of whom came to the festival specifically to buy from us.
An entertaining drive back was had, keeping my mom awake by asking her questions about Arizona history and place names (she works for the state archives and could be considered something of a subject matter expert), and her answering either truthfully or untruthfully as was her wont and me attempting to divine which stories were true and which false. She's very, very good at intermingling the two.
It was nice to get out of the Phoenix heat, but I got a nasty sunburn on my scalp for my troubles.
Sunday, June 16, 2002
So I'm just back from my most exhausting weekend in ages. It started Friday with loading up a rental truck with all of the inventory of Devine Celtic Sounds and driving 11 hours almost straight. It continued with unloading, setting up and vending all day Saturday at the Utah Scottish Festival in Salt Lake City (91 degree heat, 30 percent humidity, one small bottle of water and two potty breaks) and ended today with 11 more hours of driving and unloading all the inventory.
That said, it wasn't an entirely unsuccessful weekend either from a sales perspective, a publicity perspective, or from the perspective of escaping town and doing a road trip finally.
But I really missed Mason.
I also wish I'd brought a camera more than once. The whole drive, even going across the Navajo Indian Reservation, was one startling vista after another. The red rocks near Kanab, Utah, were particularly stunning. Also, going up and coming down I was startled to discover there's a major wildfire fairly close to US Highway 89 at Panguitch, being called the Sanford Fire. The picture at the top of that page looks like it was taken from Panguitch, only the fire has spread and is, in some spots, atop the row of mountains in front. It was an amazing and sobering sight.
Salt Lake City proper was, well, SLC. I always feel vaguely uneasy there, perhaps because it's the closest thing America has to a theocracy. But the natural surroundings of the city are breathtaking (snow on the mountains even in June!) and the people are friendly.
I do really wish Utah would do something about its roads. Driving streets in Salt Lake City were an experience not unlike body-surfing down a washboard, and I didn't realize how rough, noisy and unpleasant Highway 89 in Utah was till I hit the Arizona border and was suddenly beset by calm.
So I got back, unloaded tons of stuff, emptied the truck of my belongings, retrieved my dog, came home and rewrote a paper for school. Still on my plate: watering plants and figuring out bus routes to work so I can return my truck early in the morning.
Up early tomorrow. Ugh.
That said, it wasn't an entirely unsuccessful weekend either from a sales perspective, a publicity perspective, or from the perspective of escaping town and doing a road trip finally.
But I really missed Mason.
I also wish I'd brought a camera more than once. The whole drive, even going across the Navajo Indian Reservation, was one startling vista after another. The red rocks near Kanab, Utah, were particularly stunning. Also, going up and coming down I was startled to discover there's a major wildfire fairly close to US Highway 89 at Panguitch, being called the Sanford Fire. The picture at the top of that page looks like it was taken from Panguitch, only the fire has spread and is, in some spots, atop the row of mountains in front. It was an amazing and sobering sight.
Salt Lake City proper was, well, SLC. I always feel vaguely uneasy there, perhaps because it's the closest thing America has to a theocracy. But the natural surroundings of the city are breathtaking (snow on the mountains even in June!) and the people are friendly.
I do really wish Utah would do something about its roads. Driving streets in Salt Lake City were an experience not unlike body-surfing down a washboard, and I didn't realize how rough, noisy and unpleasant Highway 89 in Utah was till I hit the Arizona border and was suddenly beset by calm.
So I got back, unloaded tons of stuff, emptied the truck of my belongings, retrieved my dog, came home and rewrote a paper for school. Still on my plate: watering plants and figuring out bus routes to work so I can return my truck early in the morning.
Up early tomorrow. Ugh.
Sunday, June 09, 2002
Monday, June 03, 2002
We have some new additions in the Devine/Hite household ...
On a side note, I'm a graduate student now! My class began today, and I dug into my required readings. I love being asked to think again. It's an ethics class, and I've always found ethics fascinating as a topic.
Off to bed in preparation for another exciting day of work, business and school. I'm expected to clean tomorrow, too. This could be challenging.
- A lovely blue betta for which Mason himself suggested the name Zhaan. Yes, he's a boy, but I've always considered fish to be kinda sexless. And the name certainly fits the coloring.
- A lovely wee bonsai, thanks to Mason. Some sort of pine tree, methinks, althought bent pretty much horizontal. I've always wanted one.
- A lovely Spandau Ballet video, freshly converted from the PAL format, containing all of their videos. I'm beside myself with ecstasy over this.
- A lovely new Neil Finn CD, One All. It's supposed to be brilliant. I haven't listened yet, although I did reacquaint myself with Crowded House's masterpiece, Temple of Low Men, today. In the face of Neil Finn's formidable songwriting talents, I can only genuflect and chant 'I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy.'
On a side note, I'm a graduate student now! My class began today, and I dug into my required readings. I love being asked to think again. It's an ethics class, and I've always found ethics fascinating as a topic.
Off to bed in preparation for another exciting day of work, business and school. I'm expected to clean tomorrow, too. This could be challenging.
Saturday, June 01, 2002
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